Dear The Bridal Guru,
My mother has always dreamed of a big wedding. She wants a wedding that is traditional and elegant. That’s not what I want. I want a wedding that is small and intimated. I have always wanted something different and off-beat, more contemporary. I’m the one getting married but my mother and father are paying for everything. My question to you is whose wedding is it anyway?
Colorado Contempo
Dear Colorado Contempo,
It’s your wedding!
This is a recurring problem. Mom has dreamed of your wedding from the day you were born. Mom has probably been to lots of weddings, so it’s payback time. She wants all the friends of all the weddings she has ever attended and then some to come to your wedding. Mom has picked the florist, the venue, the menu, the entertainment, the invitations, and the coordinator. It’s going to be quite a production.
You on the other hand want a few close friends and family. You want the wedding décor to express your personality. What’s a contemporary bride in Colorado or anywhere else to do?
I suspect you have not discussed your feelings and what you want with your parents out of fear of rejection. And you may be worried that if they don’t pay for the wedding, it falls on you and your groom. This is a common feeling and many times misconception. Your parents love you and only want the best for you. After all, it’s not every day their little girl gets married. And although you are a bright successful young woman, to your parents, at this time, you are their little girl.
Find a quiet time that you can sit down with your mother and tell her how you feel and what you want. You may have to compromise a bit. For example, you may have a small intimate wedding ceremony but have a big reception. You may have traditional and elegance for your ceremony and then contemporary and off-beat for your reception. Try and find a common ground with your mother. Make your wedding something you can both share and enjoy! And above all, remember at the end of the day regardless of how many people attend the wedding and the reception and what the décor is, you are still married to your intended.
Best Wishes!
The Bridal Guru
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