Dear The Bridal Guru,
My fiancée and I have almost everything. We have registered but money would help us really set up our first home. Is that OK? And how do we ask for a monetary gift?
Cash Bride
Dear Cash Bride,
Although highly unusual, it is not improper to ask for cash or money in lieu of gifts. In many cultures, there is a money dance where the bride and groom are given money to help set up their homes. In others, instead of guests bringing gifts, they bring envelopes filled with money and put it in the bride’s purse.
Particularly with an older couple that has already set up their home, they may not need kitchen supplies, table or silverware. Cash might be a great alternative for a down payment on a home or to buy bigger ticket items for their home: furniture, appliances, outdoor equipment, even their honeymoon.
You can nicely request with a card accompanying your invitation that in lieu of gifts, the bride and groom would appreciate money. Maybe you have something you for which you are applying the money. Mention that. Years ago, a couple requested money for their honeymoon and/or particular excursions while on their honeymoon. I loved it because I did everything on-line and did not have to go and shop for something. Giving cash is probably one of the most useable and practical gifts that you can give a couple. Many of your guests will probably like this for similar reasons. They can put money in an envelope or card for you. It’s easy, there is no shopping required, and it’s appreciated.
Of course, you still must write thank you notes to your guests thanking them for the monetary gift. If the money is being used for a specific purpose or particular item, tell the giver this in your thank you note. Nevertheless, the rules of etiquette requiring a timely thank you are the same regardless of the type of gift being given.
The Bridal Guru
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