Dear Bridal Guru,
My photographer wants us to take most of the pictures before the ceremony. My mother does not. She says it is bad luck. What should I do? Conflicted in Clinton
Dear Conflicted in Clinton,
I am often asked this question, “Should we see each other before the ceremony?” Years ago it was considered bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony began. Of course, that’s an old wives tale; It is not bad luck. In fact, I strongly encourage brides and grooms to see each other beforehand and get as much of the photography with attendants, family, and friends done before the guests arrive and the ceremony begins. Here’s why:
- Your photographer can get the groom’s expression when he first sees you. There is nothing better and more emotional than that first look. Your photographer can set up the photograph so that it’s just the two of you (and the photographer). After a few photographs of that first look, the two of you can have a few minutes alone. This time is precious as the rest of the day will be a whirlwind.
- Now that you’ve gotten the first look out of the way, you can take all of your photographs with your attendants, family, and friends together. Depending on the size of the wedding party and the size of the two families, I recommend starting a minimum of two hours before the ceremony is to begin. Often times, three hours is better because you want to be ready for the guests to arrive and have the photographer and his or her equipment out of the way at least thirty minutes before it is scheduled to start. When guests are arriving, there is nothing worse than having to step over camera gear and bridesmaid bouquets. Have all of this done early and in plenty of time before the guests are to arrive.
- Couples that don’t see each other before the ceremony are sometimes late, as much as 1 1/2 to 2 hours, to their own reception. That’s not fair to the guests. The guests are waiting to see you and have some cake. I was at a wedding once and the couple was so late that most of the guests had left before they arrived at the reception venue. This couple would not listen to me and take their photographs before the wedding. The bride thought it was bad luck. The guests missed the cutting of the cake, the first dance, and there was a ton of cake left over. Be mindful and respectful of your guests!
Should you see each other before the ceremony? Yes! You will have better photographs, you will enjoy your reception more, and your guests will get to visit and enjoy the festivities with you, as well.
If you have a question regarding your wedding, just ask The Bridal Guru. Email me at ask@msbridalguru.com