MONEY DOES MATTER IN SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES
It is easier to talk about sex than to talk about money, yet unresolved money issues are the number one cause for divorce. Therefore, money matters to a bride and groom beginning a successful life journey together. Many couples share a bedroom, but often find it difficult to have an adult conversation about finances, especially people in love. The time to have the conversation is before the wedding.
Most of us weren’t taught to discuss money in a shared conversation. There is an old joke where the bride says, “My money is my money and his money is our money.” Today, more than ever the “M” word needs discussing due to the cost of living and due to two career couples.
Here are some good questions to get a conversation started between you and your future spouse. How was money handled in your families when growing up? Were there fights about money? Did you feel well off or poor as a kid?
Today, how important is money to you? Do you consider yourself a saver or spender? Do you have any large debts or assets? Who earns the most money and how does the other person feel about it? Lastly, what are your financial dreams (individually and as a couple)? How do you plan on making those dreams a reality?
Before your married life begins, it can be useful to create a starting budget for your household and to agree on who will pay for what within the household. What dollar amount does one spouse need the permission of the other to purchase?
A regular set aside time each month is important to create healthy communication and will reduce tensions. Additionally, the couple’s problem solving skills are enhanced. Compromise is the key. Where money is spent is where one’s life is. Money management is more than keeping the checkbook balanced.
The following percentages of your household take home pay will give you a rule of thumb of good money management:
- 35% Housing-mortgage or rent, utilities, insurance, taxes, and home maintenance
- 20% Transportation-car payments, auto insurance, taxes
- 15% Debt-student loans, taxes, credit cards
- 10 % Savings-pay yourself first to make dreams a reality
- 20% Other-clothing, entertainment, medical, child care, tithing
The best money management is to have no debts. Credit card debt is particularly draining on a couple.
Take the Financial Compatibility Quiz next week in Part 2 of Money Matters
Ann Homer Cook, Ph.D., President, A. Homer Cook & Associates, A Management Consultant firm.
Need help with your finances? Go to www.premierbridems.com/wedding-financial-services