Dear The Bridal Guru,
My mother has excellent taste. No matter her age or her weight, she always looks fabulous. However, her wedding dress that she loves and adores and always dreamed of me wearing on my wedding day is so dated. I am sure she was a stylish bride when she and my father married in 1982. That was 33 years ago. And it was right after Princess Diana wed Prince Charles. Yes, the big ball gown was popular with the even bigger puff sleeves and the high neck. It’s not me. I had envisioned an entirely different look for my wedding. What’s a bride to do?
A Loving Daughter
Dear A Loving Daughter,
Yes, you are in a bit of dilemma. I certainly appreciate you wanting to please your mother. Remember, this is your wedding not your mother’s wedding. And kudos to you because only a loving daughter would even consider wearing such a dated gown.
The good news is you have choices. Your first choice is you can take your mother’s gown to a designer like Woo Couture, www.woocouture.com, and have Mom’s wedding dress made into the look and style you want. The designer can use some or all of the fabric from your mother’s gown depending on the final design you desire. Now, you have a custom designed wedding dress of your choice, yet you are still, in some ways, wearing your mother’s gown.
Woo Couture/Sharon Coker Photography
The second choice is to be honest with your mother. Tell her you love her and you want to be as happy as she was on her wedding day. One way for you to be as happy as she was is to be able to wear the gown you have always envisioned. Remind your mother in a nice way that this is your wedding and it’s 2015. In a subtle way she will know that styles and fabrics have changed from her 1982 wedding.
Reassure your Mom that you want her with you when you shop for your perfect wedding dress. Remind Mom that her input is important and that you are not purchasing a gown without her by your side. Mom will be comforted knowing that you want her with you for this all important decision and you cannot do this without her.
Finally, find a way to incorporate your mother’s wedding dress into the décor of your wedding. This is one way Mom can have her wedding dress at your wedding even if you are not wearing all or part of her gown.
Shopping for a gown with your mother is so much fun. It’s like a passage of rite. Cherish this time together. It goes so quickly. And most of all, take time to enjoy your mother and her wisdom for a long happy marriage.
The Bridal Guru
Do you have a question for The Bridal Guru? Email: ask@msbridalguru.com