Dear The Bridal Guru,
My question is rather perplexing. Should I or shouldn’t I have my biological father walk me down the aisle? My step-father raised me. I consider him my father. I call him Dad. My biological father has not been present in my life except for an occasional visit, Christmas and Birthday gift. I am not bitter. I don’t want to disrespect my biological father and his family who I do have a relationship with. And I certainly don’t want to hurt my step-father. I have always dreamed of my step father walking me down the aisle. Should I or shouldn’t I include my biological father in the ceremony.
Perplexed in Philadelphia
Dear Perplexed in Philadelphia,
This is a hard question to answer because there are so many variables. One think to consider and a question to ask yourself is this: Do you want to have a relationship with your biological father, especially after you start having children? If the answer is “Yes”, then you do need to include him in the ceremony.
Your biological father does not have to walk you down the aisle if you feel a deeper connection with your step father, particularly since this is what you have always dreamed of for your wedding ceremony. You might have your biological father do a reading or say a prayer.
You might have your biological father start the walk down the aisle and your step father conclude the walk to your groom.
If the answer to the question is “no” then invite your biological father to the wedding and have him sit in the family section. You are under no obligation or requirement to include him in a special way in your ceremony or reception. Do what you want and what you feel is right.
I would talk to him before hand. You don’t want to upset him or have angry words and then you are upset and flustered. This is your day and you want to make sure it is as stress free as possible.
I would think of some way to include him and acknowledge his family for the long term. There is no right or wrong protocol to your question, just what is in your heart.
My mother had a saying: “You can never go wrong by doing the right thing.” And my Dad use to say: “Love lines are thicker than blood lines.” Let your heart dictate and enjoy this moment forward with both your Fathers.
Regardless of what you do, enjoy this special day of families coming together to celebrate your wedding. It’s the beginning of many family get-together’s!
The Bridal Guru
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