People ask me all the time, “What are the top 10 tips you can give me in planning my wedding?” I could probably give you 100 Top Tips, but these are the most important. Here is the countdown:
10. Get Help! Don’t do it yourself. I strongly recommend hiring a wedding coordinator, if not for the entire wedding planning, at least for the day of. Let the coordinator handle the stress. It’s money well spent and in the long run, with the coordinator’s contacts and knowledge of who to use and who not use, it will save you money.
9. Determine your guest list. Make a list of everyone you think you want at the wedding including all the attendants, wedding party, spouses, and significant others. Which family members do you want at the wedding? Do you want children at the wedding? What about co-workers, neighbors, acquaintances in organizations and social clubs? Don’t forget there are two sides to the aisle…bride and groom plus the couples’ friends. Write this all down. It’s a start it will help with Tip Number 5…
8. Determine the type of wedding you want, large or small, intimate or grand. Do you want a particular style or theme? Do you want outdoors and rustic with a tent, or indoors and grand with lighting and draping? Have you always wanted a winter wonderland or a Disney theme? This will help with Tip Number 5…
7. Start looking through magazines, books, websites, and cut or save pictures of what you like and what you don’t like. This will help with Tip Number 5…
6. Make a list of what is important to you for your wedding. Think of what you’ve always dreamed and wanted: a certain designer’s wedding gown, particular flower, style of photography or photographer, band or DJ, venue for your ceremony and/or reception. Then prioritize the list. This will help with Tip Number 5….
5. Establish a budget. This will dictate everything else.
4. Ways to save money:
- Time of Day — have an afternoon wedding…the food is lighter; the drink is lighter and the reception is shorter.
- Day of the Week…Friday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday
- Off-Peak Times…July, August, January, February other than Valentines, March
- Paper…save the date cards, invitations, programs, directions, maps, etc.
- Go High Tech: Use a website or e-mail for Save the Date cards, directories, maps, accommodations, registries, and other details.
- If you are having an outdoor wedding in the blazing Mississippi heat, do a 2 for 1: and print the program on the fans that you will need to provide your guests.
- Instead of a sit down meal, have a buffet or hors d’ouevres
- Forego Favors. It’s not as big a deal in the South as it is in other parts of the country and platinum weddings!
- Your Gown: Find out when the various bridal stores are having their sales. The gowns on sale will not be current gowns. These are discontinued or slightly damaged which may need a slight repair and well worth the savings.
- Music…band or DJ/church organist or string quartet. Some brides use all of the above.
- Photography…
- Go with a less expensive package with shorter hours…That means you’ll have to cut your cake early, do the bouquet toss, even leave early. The good part of all this is there will be lots of people in the photos rather than if you wait to do this at the end of the evening. Once all the expected things are done, you can enjoy the wedding and party all night.
- Choose a photographer that gives you a CD and you make your own wedding album. There are lots of good shoot and burn photographers. My question though: after the wedding will you make this album? Many people save money this way but then never make the wedding album or one that doesn’t look as nice as if you spent the extra money and the photographer handled this.
- Some photographers also offer videography and can package all this together.
- Again, with videography, cut the hours and go with a less expensive package.
- Alcohol is the biggest expense…serve only beer and wine with enough champagne for toasting only or have a signature drink and a limited bar.
- Flowers…Opt for flowers that are in season and locally grown.
- Use the bridesmaids’ bouquets at the reception as part of the decorations.
- If you use the same venue for both the rehearsal dinner and reception, share the cost of the centerpieces with the groom’s family.
- Avoid cascades which require more labor and more money. Opt instead for small hand-tied bouquets.
- Go with one kind of flowers instead of a variety in your bouquets and centerpieces. This way your florist only has to place one bulk order. This brings a chic monochromatic look to your wedding.
- The Wedding Cake…
- Many people leave before the cake is cut and don’t eat sweets, so opt for fewer servings, maybe 60%, if there’s a groom’s cake to 75% if this is the only cake.
- Don’t have a groom’s cake…just have the wedding cake only OR serve the Groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner and let that be part of the groom’s expense.
- Pick a butter cream frosting, which tastes better, over fondant.
- The more elaborate the cake in flavors and decorations, the more expensive.
- Location, Location Location…
- Choose a location that’s close to where most of your guests live. This is an obvious, simple, and effective way to limit unnecessary transportation.
- Consider having both the ceremony and the reception at the same venue.
- Look at a non-traditional space…a park (get the necessary permits and permission; the zoo; the beach; a friend’s home, backyard or barn; a restaurant
- Remember, if the space is not equipped to handle a party, you have to calculate extra costs: tables, chairs, toilets, power, even a kitchen if the caterer doesn’t have a mobile kitchen.
3. Hire Professionals…Do NOT DIY (Do It Yourself) or rely on friends, family, church members, or friends of friends. Check the credentials of the professionals, ask for referrals and check those and only used licensed people for food, cakes, and confections. Make them show you their food permits and all licenses. This means they are serve-safe and have liability insurance should there be a problem with the food and are accountable.
- True Scary Story 1: A bride hired a friend to cater her wedding of 125 and provide the groom’s cake for $250. Friday, the day before the wedding, the friend/caterer said she was sick and would be unable to do the food and the cake. The bride was in a panic. Luckily an area caterer agreed to provide the food (not for $250) and the bride went to Sam’s Club for the groom’s cake.
- True Scary Story 2: A bride from a prominent family hired a caterer in her hometown that many of their family and friends used on a regular basis. Unfortunately, the caterer had neither the proper license nor equipment to cater a wedding in the middle of a hot Mississippi summer. The chicken salad spoiled; guests got sick and because the caterer was unlicensed and did not have liability insurance, the bride’s family was sued.
- There are more True Scary Stories involving DIY and using family and friends, but you get the point.
2. Start early. Start now in your planning, your reservations of venue, photographer, music, flowers, coordinator, etc. Order your gown now: it takes 6-8 months to get a gown in and then you have to allow for alterations, if any are needed. Do as much as you can now and you will enjoy the wedding, the showers, and parties. It takes the stress off you. There will be enough last minute anyway. Trust me on that. Things happen that are out of your control.
1. Keep your eye on the prize, the goal…the MRS, the marriage of you and your fiancé. Look at the big picture and don’t get caught up on the little things. First, people don’t care, and second, guests won’t remember. If you don’t have something or forget something, no one will know but you. And guess what: you’ll still be married. Because that’s what it’s all about…getting married. Focus on the end result…your marriage to your beloved. Stay true to yourself. This is your wedding, not your Mother’s wedding, not your wedding coordinator’s wedding. And the most important part of the entire wedding…it’s not the hoopla, it’s not the flowers, it’s not the gown, it’s having God’s presence. It’s having God’s blessing. It’s having God at the front and center of your marriage. If you keep this in mind, nothing else really matters and you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way in the wedding, in the marriage, and in life.
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